Saturday, May 30, 2009

Okay, now they're just getting weird

Not that they haven't been for a long time (how can you not be "weird" to believe that the world is only 6,000 years old?), but now, some creationist over at Bibleland Studios has come up with arguably the strangest argument against evolution and pro-creationism that I've ever seen, seriously. What it basically boils down to: if you wipe your drool away, God exists.

Ok, I have an Evolution Challenge for you. Make your mouth produce a bunch of spit, let it dribble down your face and time how long it is before you simply have to wipe it off. Go ahead; try it! I promise you it won't be very long. It's extremely uncomfortable to have it sit there.

Think about the babies in your life. Have you ever thought about the fact that they stop drooling after the first couple years of life? Have you ever imagined what life would be like if we didn't stop? Some, sadly, know what this is like. Children with cerebral palsy that don't stop drooling or those that begin drooling due to loss of facial muscle control know the horrors of this. Have you had to endure watching people stare at your parent or child as they experience this humiliating social embarrassment? Have you tried to alleviate the irritating sores that develop from skin being constantly wet? Have you tried to keep them in presentable clothing when saliva keeps staining their clothes?

What evolutionary advantage is there to developing the oral neuromuscular control at age 18-24 months? What if drooling, the default condition at birth, was the way our lives always are? How would you like to date, make love, run a business meeting, ride horses, grocery shop and take care of kids while drooling? How cool would you feel driving your fancy car down the road with sunglasses and drool? How would your wedding go with everyone trying to be discrete with their designer drool cloths or bibs?

The human body is designed to give us dignity. These specific designs and abilities point to a Creator who cares about even whether we are embarrassed or not. There's no evolutionary advantage to not drooling. It's the gift of dignity.

So ... the fact that drool is uncomfortable, which leads to you wiping it off as a natural reflex (or simply not to look like a retard) ... disproves evolution and confirms that God created us and gave us the "gift of dignity"?

Nevermind, of course, that the boob even disproved his own meandering nonsense by first describing how drooling is uncomfortable, is viewed as inappropriate, can even develop annoying skin problems such as sores – not to mention that it would also facilitate dehydration, though to a lesser extent – and then follows up by asserting that none of that really matters anyway, as there's "no evolutionary advantage to not drooling"? Isn't it fun how creationists always seem to counter their own claims in such a delightful illustration of cognitive dissonance?

(via Pharyngula)


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