Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Now this is a good way to control your friends

For example, if your girl-/boyfriend has been exceptionally pretty and kind to you (*wink*), you could offer her the present of a lifetime (or rather, afterlife-time): send her/him to Heaven!

Head to Reserve a Spot in, and choose either the Essential Travel Kit (the bare essentials) for the low low price of $12.79, or if you really love her/him, go all out and pay $15.95 for the deluxe All Access Travel Kit! You won't believe the amenities you get, such as a First Class flight ticket (to avoid climbing that lengthy staircase), a Heaven 101 mini informational guide so you don't get too lost, and an all-access VIP pass that gets you into places such as the Land of Milk and Honey, and the Thug Mansion where "all the elites get together and kick it".

Of course, if your devoted one hasn't nearly been devoted enough to your tastes, you could just get your well-merited revenge by sending them to Hell, instead, with Reserve a Spot in Again, you can choose between the bare-essentials kit, where you get an Official Hell Identification Card, and a Hell 101 mini informational guide so you don't step into the wrong roasting pits. Oh, and that's all for $12.79. For a few bucks extra (at $15.95), you get the "All-Access" package, where you also get an all-access VIP pass which gets you into areas such as the Frozen Wasteland, the Lake of Fire, and the Bridge of Dead, where "all the hotties get together and kick it".

... Damn, now I'm not sure which one I want. =(

And just in case Poe's Law has been too strong for anyone reading this, read their disclaimer (taken from the "Hell" variant):

This site was made to be humorous gag gift and should not be taken seriously. We in no way can guarantee someone entry into Hell. In fact, we have never been to nor are we affiliated with Hell. [...] We are not singling out, mocking or making fun of any religion. We respect peoples beliefs and do not mean to offend anybody and are sorry if that happens.

The "Heaven" one is pretty much the same. So there.


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